Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Giving it a whirl...

So here it is, my 1st blog post. I'm an avid reader of several blogs, consider myself quite a decent writer (by virtue of the fact I know how to use an apostrophe) so thought I'd give it a whirl. Might be absolute shite like but there you go.

Suppose as it's my 1st post, an introduction might be a good start so here's a few things about me.

I'm a serial dieter
The above statement pretty much defines my adult life.
As a kid and teenager, I was blessed with a fabulous metabolism that allowed me to eat copious amounts of crap, never exercise and maintain my size 8 figure (I'm nearly 6 foot tall too).
Then, some time around my 18th birthday that bastard metabolism went and buggered off on me. Gutted.
It left me with an insatiable appetite, an aversion to physical activity of all kinds and an ever expanding waistline.
For practically the last decade I've been on and off diets with varying degrees of success.
Sitting here right now, I'm 4 weeks into my latest Slimming World venture and nearly a stone lighter. Still wearing size 20 leggings though. I am officially a fat bitch albeit a slightly less fat bitch than I was a month ago. That's progress, I think.

I'm a smart arse
All through school I was consistently at the top of every class. Except for P.E. of course, my nemesis.
I never had to work very hard or indeed at all to maintain this status. It just came naturally.
I left 6th form with 4 A's at A-level (and we're talking proper, old skool A-levels here, not that AS level bollocks they do nowadays) and headed off to Oxford. Told you I was a smart arse.
I despised every dull minute of my lectures, tutes, basically everything involving academic study. I'd gone from being a big fish in a small pond to being a small, lazy arsed fish in a massive pond full of big time geeks. I left after a year. It's a wonder I lasted so long.

I'm a full-time Mummy (who works part-time)
I can't stand it when people state their job as "full-time mum". WTF is that supposed to insinuate? That those of us who go out to work are part-time mums? Cheeky bastards.
I'm a full-time mum, I also happen to work 3 days a week. This enables me to do those little things like paying the mortgage, clothing and feeding my child and going on several holidays a year.
18 months ago we adopted a little man who is now nearly 3. He makes me smile more than anything in the world, makes me laugh everyday and also drives me completely insane since he generally doesn't listen to a word I say. Don't get me wrong, he's not naughty naughty (like drawing on the walls and breaking stuff naughty) he just likes to do his own thing.
The 2 years leading up to this little whirlwind joining our family were not the best, to say the least. Now I wouldn't change a thing. I really don't think I could have biologically created such a brilliant kid. After all, with my genes, they'd end up chubby, ginger and annoying.

I'm a bad crank
I get a chip on my shoulder about the funniest little things and randomly about people I don't even know (celebrities, work colleagues of my hubby, people in the supermarket).
This is probably where most of my blog posts will come from. I've got a lot of anger to vent about inconsequential things that I know I should just let go of but I can't.

So there we go, there's a few little bits and pieces about me. If you've got this far, kudos to you. I've even bored myself. Will have to think up some better material.

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